Responsibility...Accountability...For me!

So last week was a really long one. I was stressed out! It seemed like it was just one thing after another coming straight at me, full speed and I could get out of the way fast enough! I really started dogging on myself pretty bad....I was having a real good pity party and I was the only one invited. I just was not happy with anything. The kids were irritating me with whatever they were doing, everything that I had to do was really a chore....it was hard to get motivated to do anything! I just wanted to go in my room and lock the door. Okay, you get it.....anywho, I have some wonderful friends around me that really helped things turn around. I was messing around on Facebook when one of my friends popped up on screen to chat with me. She asked me if I wanted to go to Enrichment with her that night. I had been thinking about it and hadn't really decided if I was going to go....it was a big Stake Enrichment. Since she asked, I thought "Why not?". So I told her I go with her. It turned out to be the best decision I'd made all week! A recurring theme that night was that God knew us and loved us and that we need to love ourselves more. That was what I got out of it anyway. It just struck me so hard and really made me think about my week and look at why it had been so crappy. I started to realize that the biggest problem was not the 20 million things that needed to be done, but how I was perceiving those 20 million things! I have been slowly sliding down the last month without realizing it and it was affecting everything in my life drastically! One of the ladies that spoke talked about how we need to trust in the Lord and hand over our troubles to him.....but after we are feeling stronger we need to make sure that we leave them with him and not try to take them back from him. That was such an "Ah-Hah" moment for me. I do that way to often. I start feeling good and stronger and that I can handle it, so I start reaching for those same burdens over and over when I know that Heavenly Father already has them securely in his hands taking care of them for me. I have really struggled so hard with my faith and my testimony that last little while because I've actually been trying to find them again. It seems like they've been lost for so long that I'm starting over and trying save and fix my crumbling foundation. It's been a struggle and a journey that is so difficult and so rewarding. There have been many Sundays the last few months where things hit me so hard that I can barely breathe and I just feel like I'm burning on the inside because I know, without a doubt that what was just said is so true and SO relevant to ME! Like right now, I'm bawling writing this. Anyway, I just needed to write this down and let all of you out there know how much I love you all and appreciate you love and friendship so much. Even if it's only a note on a blog or a full afternoon of face to face conversation, I know you're all out there and I can feel your strength and thank you for it.