Dad went home to our Father in Heaven today....

I just need to put this in words for you and myself. My dad passed on today around 12:40 p.m. today. He decided that he couldn't do it anymore and went quickly. Last night mom went to sleep around midnight and dad woke her up around 2:30 a.m. because he just didn't feel good. Mom asked him if he wanted to go to the E.R. and he asked her if they'd have to put an I.V. in him, she told him Yes. So he said no way, he wasn't going. His heart was racing like crazy and he just didn't feel right. She tried to get his medication in him, but it was difficult and it didn't help at all when he finally was able to take it. At 6:30 a.m. mom asked dad if he wanted Matt to give him a blessing and all dad could say was "Hurry". Matt gave him a blessing and he was restfull afterwards. A few hours later a good family friend, Doug S. came over to check on them and dad wanted to move over to his chair. Doug told us that with the two of them, he didn't feel like they could move him that far and asked dad if he could help them get him to the chair. Dad wasn't really responsive at that point but, according to Doug, by the power of angels they were able to move him to his chair. From there he just went fast. He didn't respond at all anymore and his breaths became farther and farther between. Mom finally looked at him and told him to do what he thought he needed to do. After that they took off his oxygen and he was gone within 2 minutes. Very quickly, quietly and peacefully.....just like he always wanted. Mom really thinks that he left before that and that his body was still running to give her time to accept it and let go.

Words cannot even begin to express the grief that I feel in my heart. Hopefully through the days and weeks that follow I will be able to find the words. I am so grateful for all of our family and friends who have prayed for us and continue to do so. Again, words will never quite express my gratitude. Thank you all so much!

I am so grateful for the knowledge that I will get to see my dad again someday. I know that he is in a better place and that he doesn't hurt anymore. I know that he's still close by and always will be.

For those who want to know, the viewing will be Sunday night at 5:00 p.m. at Flamm funeral home in Rexburg. The funeral is Monday at 11:00 p.m. at the church by my parent's house. If you want more info, let me know.

Again, Thank You all so much for your love and concern! I love you all!!

Dad.....

Dad went to the Dr. yesterday and they ended up taking out his trach. I think we're all grateful for that because it has just caused more grief than it did any good. Now he's left with a big hole in his throat. Most people will heal around it and their skin will grow back to kind of close it up so the hole isn't as big, but not Dad. The skin around it is so sick from the tumor that it hasn't healed around there at all. He's pretty frustrated with the whole situation. He hasn't been able to sleep very well and neither has mom. Hopefully with the trach out they'll both be able to ge some rest. He can't talk, but I can still understand him.....the fire is still there! ;) I still just can't believe how quickly things have gone downhill with him. 2 weeks ago things were still okay. He could talk and move around and do things. Yeah, he got tired faster than he used to, but he was still Dad. Now, it's just so different. He's lost over 60 lbs in the last couple of months, he can't talk except for a little whisper every now and then....and that takes some effort. It's just really hard to watch him slip away from us. Granted, there is still that fire in him. He can still get worked up about certain things and he still has that great smile. I just love him so much! At this point and time, if he really makes it days past the New Year I will be surprised. I'm so thankful for the Hospice Nurses who come in every day to check on him and mom. I know it really helps my mother and calms her worries to know that there is someone there who knows what they are doing and can answer her questions. Although she is pretty efficient helping dad with what needs to be done anymore. I just want to say "Thank You!" again to all of you! We all can feel the power of your prayers and love. I also wish so much that you(and I) could do something to help, but unfortunately there's really nothing that anyone can do.....except pray for us, continue to be great family and friends that we can go to to talk to, cry or laugh with or just to be with one another. Thank you all so much for your love and support! I revel in it! May you all have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Happy Birthday....a little late

I really want to tell Gary Happy Birthday! His birthday was yesterday and I was running around too much to get on here. I know he'll probably never read this, but I want everyone else to know how much I love and appreciate this man of mine. He is such a kind hearted, hard workin', pain in my butt kind of guy that will never grow up, yet is wise beyond his years. We've been married for almost 12 years now and it just almost surreal. All the ups and downs and ins and outs I wouldn't trade for anything or anyone. I love him, I love him, I love him!

Now a quick update on dad. I went to the hospital on Tuesday with Joe and Em to see Dad for a little bit. We were only there about 15 minutes and the kids were restless and wanted to get some lunch and go to Grandma's house. Dad couldn't talk at all because of the trach, but he could still get his point across. He told Emma that he thought her hair looked really cute. We crimped it and pulled a little back. He liked her boots. Joe had fun kinda bouncing on the bed and making it move up and down underneath him. Dad was pretty upset about not being able to go home yet. He had a few choice words and gestures about it.....it was a good thing he couldn't "say" it out loud! The fire is definitely still there....but it doesn't take much to wear him out. He was really tired because he didn't get much sleep the night before. They had trouble with the trach and so he can't lay down at all or else he can't breathe. Since the surgery he's had to stay in an upright position. It's really hard to watch him. Luckily he's at home now where he can at least be in a comfortable recliner to rest and relax in. Today he'll go into the Dr.'s office for them to put a different trach end on. The one that's in is too heavy for where they had to put it and it's falling out. The Dr. will put in a softer, light-weight one for him and he'll be able to go straight back home. For now things are okay. We are so grateful for all the love and prayers. Everyone keeps asking me if there is anything they could do, I wish I could give them an answer or I wish there was something they could do. Unfortunately there really isn't anything any of us can do, but pray and be thankful for the time that we do have with this amazingly wonderful man. The only thing I can really do is savour and enjoy what time I have with my dad. This will be a Christmas we all remember forever.

Dad's Surgery

Dad made it through his surgery in pretty good shape. It was a little difficult, but not in the way they expected it. The Dr.'s did both the trach and inserted a tube in his stomach, but they were more worried about the tube in the stomach. Too make it the easiest surgery for Dad, to put the tube in the stomach they put a scope down his throat and insert it that way. With the way his throat has been obstructed they were worried it may not work very well and that they might have to open him up to actually get the tube in there. It turned out not to even be a problem. The scope went right in. They had a harder time getting the trach done because of the tumor. The surgeon said that it was the hardest one that he'd ever done before, but he knew that it had to be done, so he forged ahead and was able get it done beautifully. Dr. Dixon is making Dad stay at the hospital until Wednesday so that he can really learn to breathe with the trach and give Mom and Dad good instructions on how to clean and care for it. I know that Heavenly Father is listening to your prayers and has guided the hands of the wonderful Dr.'s to give my Dad this little bit of precious time with us. We are all SO grateful for all of you and your love and concern. Every time I tell Dad about all the prayers and well wishes from you he tears up and gets all emotional, which gets the rest of us going too. He is such of strong man of faith! I love him so much. When we were told that this was it, and it was just him, myself, Gary and Mom in the room, we were all crying and he looks at us and tells us that he isn't crying for himself, but for us. He knows that he'll be taken care of better than any of us can even imagine. He's at peace with it all. I know that since he got his diagnosis he has been preparing himself and he's ready. He just wants it to be as easy as possible for the rest of us. I can barely read this through the tears running down my face! So, I'll leave it here for now. I just want to tell you all again, Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! It really helps bring peace to my heart and soul to hear from you or read your heartfelt sympathies. I love you all!

Too Much

There is just too much to catch up on that I'm not even going to try right now. My life is just too busy. I really just wanted to let everyone know about my dad. Dad's cancer has taken a turn for the worse. He wasn't doing really great on Thursday. He was coughing a lot, couldn't drink liquids and he couldn't talk more than just a whisper. He went in for his scan on Friday morning and late that afternoon the Dr. called and told him to head up to the E.R. right away. What they found in the scan is a tumor that has wrapped itself around his esophogus, in between it and his voicebox. He's had a hard time swallowing because it's made his esophogus about the size of a ball point pen in diameter. His cancer has also gotten bigger and spread and he has fluid around his heart. Gary and I were at the hospital when Dr. Dixon came in to talk to Dad. Basically they are going to do what will make him the most comfortable, because the cancer is just so aggressive, that there is no way to keep up with it. Dad told Dr. Dixon that he just wanted to make it to the new year.....Dr. Dixon is pretty confident that he can do that for him. But anything much past that will be up to our Father in Heaven. It would just be band-aid after band-aid, and Dad always said from the beginning that he would do what he could, but would rather have quality time over quantity. So, today he's going in for surgery to have a trach put in. This is a precaution in case the tumor grows enough to cover his wind pipe. This way when he is home and can't breathe in the middle of the night a few weeks, that he can uncap it and still be able to breathe. Because of the size of his esophogus they are putting a tube in his stomach so that he can still get fluids, nutrition and medication to be comfortable in the little time that he has with us. If all goes well with the surgery, he should be able to come home tonight. I will try to keep everyone updated as best as I can. I love all of you and am so grateful for your love and support. I'll let you know how his surgery goes. Thank You!

Labor Day Weekend-Part 1-The Boat Club

That Friday night of Labor Day weekend, we were up to the farm ready for the long weekend. Johnny and Whitney came up and we roasted hot dogs, visited and just enjoyed the beautiful night. The next morning we had to get up and head to Lyman for my nephew Bret's baptism. We went to that, visited with family for a little bit, then ran home to pick up the boat and head straight up to the Boat Club in Island Park. Saturday was the day for the Jeppesen Reunion of all my Grandma Jeppesen's decendants. There usually aren't very many that can make it, but we still have a good time.

There is my beautiful grandmother....Aunt Phyllis and Uncle Ronnie are sitting behind her. We didn't get Uncle Ronnie in the group shot below because it was their anniversary so they left right after they ate lunch. They went up to West Yellowstone to go to the Playmill. I love that place, but haven't been there in a long time! Mom and Gary getting food.

Hehehehehe.....This is just a funny picture of Amanda.....she cracks me up. My sister Kristi and her husband Rob.

Matt reading his book. An outside look at the group. The neighbors let us borrow their sheltered pad. It works out just nicely for the small crowd that we had.

Aunt Connie, Mom, Uncle Darwin and Uncle Kyle enjoying their lunch. Jess and Dad.

Jess looking through karaoke cd's with Grace and Kaitlin. Emma singing with Megan and Mariah.

Emma and Aubrin belting out a tune together. The two "teenagers".....they're not really yet, but they sure practice it a lot. Uncle Ronnie in the background.

Grandma, Dad and Uncle Darwin. There's most of the family together.....just missing Uncle Ronnie. Dad, Uncle Kyle, Grandma, Aunt Connie and Uncle Darwin.

Kristi and Jess harmonizing together. Em and Megan swinging in the tire swing.

The boat had a dead battery and the battery charger was up at the farm with the camper....so we just let the kids play in the water and with the tube and paddles. They has a great time, even if the weather wasn't the greatest.

The little boy in the yellow swim vest is my cousin Tiffany's little boy, Pheonix. He's pretty dang cute.

After we spent the day at the boat club most everyone went home. We headed back up to the farm to stay in the camper. Everyone was coming back up in the morning for breakfast and spend the rest of the weekend together.

First Day of School - August 20 & 21, 2009

The girls started school on Thursday, August 20th, 2009. I can't believe that Sierra started Middle School this year. I swear I'm not old enough to have a child that old! Grace is in 2nd grade this year......where does the time go.

All the kids on the first day of school.

Waitng for the bus with the neighborhood kids. Emma with her arm around her friend next door...watching the kids get on the bus and head to school.

Joe on HIS first day of school. He went on Friday. The kindergarteners this year are doing full-day, every other day school. So Joe goes to school on Mondays, Wednesdays and every other Friday. I love this schedule! He loves going to school all day too. But he's already counting down until he's in 1st grade so that he can go every day. Some days, so am I! ;)

And they're off. 3 of the 4 kids gone all day. It sure is quiet with just me and Emmalee at home all day. I do love the chaos and noise when all the kids get home in the afternoon. Homework, chores, violin practice, neighbor kids running in and out......it's a wonderful life!

Good news for Dad

My dad called me last night to tell me about his scan he had that day. They were checking his lungs to see if the chemo medication he's been on for the last 7 or so weeks has been working or not. When they did the scan they found that it does seem to be working! The cancer hasn't gotten any worse! Some of the nodules had gotten bigger but some of them had actually gotten smaller. The doctor was very pleased with it all. He's keeping dad on the same meds for another 2 months and then they are going to do another scan to check it again and make sure it's still doing what it's supposed to be doing. The Dr. is very hopeful that it will keep the cancer from multiplying so that his body will be given the chance to fight it. I'm so grateful for this news! When he came home from Utah and most of those Dr.s only gave him about 6 months it was devestating! But luckily we have this wonderful Dr. Dixon in Rexburg, ID who never says never. He is an amazing man and such a wonderful answer to so many prayers. I really hope thi medication keeps working the way that it needs to so that my dad is around for many years to come. I love him so much! I want to thank all of you out there who are praying for and thinking about us. I know that God hears each and everyone of us and I just want to say Thank You!

Huckleberrying

So after family reunions and girls camp, we spent the next 3 or 4 weekends up in the hills picking huckleberries! I LOVE huckleberries! The berries were awsome this year too. I was surprised about that because it was such a strange year too. But the berries we were getting into were big and plentiful!

My older brother and his wife and kids hadn't been huckleberry picking ever, so we invited them to go with us. It was lots of fun. The kids had a blast together! Doesn't Kaitlin look great with her huckleberry war paint?!

Grace with a pretty flower...you never have to ask her to pose for the camera! The kids loved the hill we were by. They would all walk up to the top and then run as fast as they could down it without falling on their face. ;) They crack me up!

There were a few of these big, red mushrooms around. They were really cool.

Joey was helping his parents. Gotta dump the berries into the BIG bucket so they fill up their smaller mugs. It was some good pickin'! Check out this beautiful berry!

Nate sitting in the middle of a patch as happy as can be! Karissa and Sierra in their own patch trying to ignore the small kids and parents....it's like they're practicing to be teenagers or something. ;)

Loading up to head back up the hill. It was a good day. Picked lots of good berries that made really yummy shakes!

On the way home, Grace thought it was cool to be like her dad. Notice they both have the had, sunglasses and the carpenter's pencil in the hat. I'm pretty sure none of Gary's hats fit right unless one of those pencils is stuck up in there!