Dad.....

Dad went to the Dr. yesterday and they ended up taking out his trach. I think we're all grateful for that because it has just caused more grief than it did any good. Now he's left with a big hole in his throat. Most people will heal around it and their skin will grow back to kind of close it up so the hole isn't as big, but not Dad. The skin around it is so sick from the tumor that it hasn't healed around there at all. He's pretty frustrated with the whole situation. He hasn't been able to sleep very well and neither has mom. Hopefully with the trach out they'll both be able to ge some rest. He can't talk, but I can still understand him.....the fire is still there! ;) I still just can't believe how quickly things have gone downhill with him. 2 weeks ago things were still okay. He could talk and move around and do things. Yeah, he got tired faster than he used to, but he was still Dad. Now, it's just so different. He's lost over 60 lbs in the last couple of months, he can't talk except for a little whisper every now and then....and that takes some effort. It's just really hard to watch him slip away from us. Granted, there is still that fire in him. He can still get worked up about certain things and he still has that great smile. I just love him so much! At this point and time, if he really makes it days past the New Year I will be surprised. I'm so thankful for the Hospice Nurses who come in every day to check on him and mom. I know it really helps my mother and calms her worries to know that there is someone there who knows what they are doing and can answer her questions. Although she is pretty efficient helping dad with what needs to be done anymore. I just want to say "Thank You!" again to all of you! We all can feel the power of your prayers and love. I also wish so much that you(and I) could do something to help, but unfortunately there's really nothing that anyone can do.....except pray for us, continue to be great family and friends that we can go to to talk to, cry or laugh with or just to be with one another. Thank you all so much for your love and support! I revel in it! May you all have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!